alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize