I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
