i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
