do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
