Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
