Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
