i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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