It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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