The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
