The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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