I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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