is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize