i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you never un-have a 4some
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
