32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
