Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
