Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
