Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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