You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like abortions should bother me more
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
