Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
