you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
