I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
