I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
