Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
