Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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