is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
