i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
