If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
