my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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