me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
