He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you win again, gameday.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
