I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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