I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
