Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Randomize
