Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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