im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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