my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
