my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
