I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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