Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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