I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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