please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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