Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
