I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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