i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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