Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
