you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
