OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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