drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
