we're blogging at a bar
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
