I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
