My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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