that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
