He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
