he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
