Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
