I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize