We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
