You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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