do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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