He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
