I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
