Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize