Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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