'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
