Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
